Ivana Bacik Needs To Have A Sit Down

I am not a chap that likes to repeat himself. I find it a frightful bore. On one occasion, while holidaying in Sub Saharan Africa, some Arab chap failed to grasp at the first time of asking what I’d asked him in my exquisite Queens Own Tongue – I stood there staring at the bloody fool for 10 whole minutes until he gave me the decorative monkeys hand I had bloody well asked him for in the first place. Repeat myself, old stick?
Never.
Yet, repeat myself I must. The nonsense has gotten too extreme, old trout! While about town this morning I stumbled upon this piece in the Paper of Record and well, I won’t inform you of the fate of the poor croissant I was marmalading at the time. Had I not put this entire issue to rest yesterday?
Far be it from me to disagree with an alumna of my dearest Alma Mater but my my, Senator Bacik, what utter nonsense have you committed to ink here? That Madam would allow such flagrant codswallop to appear on her pages is a shock, especially considering our joint affection for The Iron Lady.
The main thrust of her article is thus; mooooooaaaan.
She writes -

First, without more women TDs, our democracy is not truly representative.

I would beg to differ, Senator! There is no statute excluding women from Politics in this country (no matter how many times I push it with Dear Leader Turnip, damn his backwoodsman forehead). The fact that there are so few lady T.D’s is nothing to do with some grand conspiracy no matter how much discerning gentlemen would wish it so. She continues -

This means that voter choice in Ireland is severely restricted. In the 2007 general election, women constituted only 17 per cent of candidates overall. At least 60 per cent of constituencies had no women candidates from either of the two largest political parties; Fianna Fáil fielded no women candidates in 28 constituencies and Fine Gael had no women standing in 30 constituencies. In five constituencies out of 43, no women candidates stood, even as Independents.

A lot of numbers there, chaps, yet it’s a pity that they are utterly meaningless. Were there enough women of sufficient gumption to demand a place on the ballot then there would not be a problem.
Once again, Ivana, you have to ask yourself WWTILD? Would The Iron Lady sit there whining? No she would not! She would close the mines, literally and figuratively, until she was, not only on the stump, but sitting in Parliament like some glorious predatory bird.
This awful article – a typical lefty exercise in telling people how they should be voting – becomes slightly more understandable when you look at the electoral record of the lovely Senator. She was a repeated failure turtle at the stump in 1997, 2002, 2004 & 2009  and again most recently when Comrade Gimore and chums decided not to go with her in Dublin South East – rightly realizing that she has all the electoral appeal of a brain damaged arsonist.

Senator Bacik pictured adding psychokinesis to her long list of failures.

In fact, the only reason she has a job in politics at all, and not driving around Portobello looking for minor injustices to write to Times Letters Page about, is down to squeaking in to the Seanaid by the very skin of her teeth in 2007 on the 8th count after Norris, De Rossa and Scooby bloody Doo got in before her.
So yes, one can see why introducing a quota of female TD’s would suit her down to the ground. One can see her running around Dublin South shrieking at passers by “It doesn’t matter how rubbish you think I am! The law says I get in either way!”...


Yours etc,
Randall Harper